Couple-Skills 101™

In-Office Intensive  |  Seminar Series

Marriage breakdown has reached epidemic proportions. According to distinguished American marital researcher, John Gottman, 50% of couples divorce within 7 years and 67% divorce over 40 years. Second marriages have an even higher rate of breakdown. Moreover, research indicates that the majority of couples that divorce never seek assistance (counselling, relationship seminars, etc.). They suffer in silence. For those that do seek help, it takes 6 years on average before they make the decision. Sadly, for most couples, divorce is an unnecessary and devastating option.

Divorce profoundly affects children. Children of divorce have higher rates of depression and other related mental health problems, increased health problems, career problems and are more likely to divorce themselves. Marriage breakdown really means family breakdown. When parents divorce it’s the disintegration of the family unit that causes all of the trouble. The disintegration of the family unit has been described as the malaise of western culture and has been associated with a myriad of social problems and issues.

Just because you don’t get a divorce doesn’t mean you’re living in martial bliss. Research shows that many couples stay together because of “negative commitment,” that is, they stay together because of all of the bad things they fear might happen if they get divorced. Fears about the children, financial concerns (women are often faced with poverty after divorce), religious beliefs, fear of loneliness, etc. are all reasons many couples stay together. One author estimated that only 7% of couples are really happy together.

Why is this happening? Why are relationships in so much trouble? Well, simply put, we have no role models. Most of us have grown up in families where the traditional male-female stereotypes were honoured - the dominant, breadwinner male and the submissive, stay-at-home woman were the norm. Most people realize that we repeat patterns from our families-of-origin. Although most of us don’t want to have relationships like our parents, it’s our parents that teach us relationship skills. In my seminars, I often ask the audience a simple question, “who would like to have a relationship just like your parents?” Look at your own parent’s relationship and you can imagine how many hands go up in any given audience. Very few couples want the kind of relationships their parents have.

The Couple-Skills 101™ program is an educational and coaching alternative to traditional marriage counselling. Therapy and counselling typically focus on the couple’s individual and relationship history in an attempt to help them understand why they are having problems. Couple-Skills 101™ on the other hand focuses on practical skills and techniques. It’s the “how to” solution to relationship distress. Many couples that have been through marriage counselling refer to their experience as “bitch sessions.” It may feel good to vent and get things off of your chest in a counsellors office but unless couples learn new skills and techniques that transfer to their everyday lives, counselling sessions can of little value. If you want a different outcome in your relationship, you must do something different in your everyday life!

Sig Taylor, MSW
Calgary, AB
Canada

Couple-Skills 101™ In-Office Intensive

Couple-Skills 101™ Seminar Series

Course Outline

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