Over the years in my practice, I’ve been noticing that more and couples are experiencing sexual problems. In fact, I’ve found that even when couples improve their communication and connection, many of them still experience sexual dysfunction. I’ve come to realize that sometimes one (or both) of the partners may have a sex addiction issue that is at the heart of the problem. When this is happening, the other partner is often confused and feels sexually rejected, not realizing their partner is directing their sexual energy elsewhere (pornography, cybersex, chat rooms, massage parlours, prostitution, etc.) Make no mistake, sex addiction is as real as drug and alcohol addiction. The same addiction processes occur in the brain.
Sex addiction is a SERIOUS problem in today’s society, due in large part of the Internet. The internet has made pornography accessible, affordable and anonymous. Cybersex has been coined the “crack cocaine of sex addiction.” People who would not otherwise be prone to addiction (those that don’t have a background of trauma, “non-addict profile”) can “get hooked” in the same way that “non-addict” individuals can get addicted very quickly to cocaine.
Here are the some of the basic characteristics of sex addiction:
- Compulsive behaviour that completely dominates the addict’s life.
- Sex becomes a priority more important than family, friends, and work.
- Sex becomes the organizing principle of the addict’s life.
- The addict is willing to sacrifice what he/she cherishes most in order to preserve and continue his/her unhealthy behaviour.
- The addict uses sexuality to regulate their emotional life.
- Sexuality is used as a pain reliever or a way to relieve anxiety.
- The addict will do things that are dangerous, exploitive, and will cause shame afterwards.
- The addict feels lonely and non-intimate.
Take this free screening test and find out now if you may have a problem. http://www.recoveryzonecanada.com/tests/sex-addiction/SAST/index.php.
I’m currently training to become a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and I’m offering my clients a wide variety of powerful tools and techniques to address this life and relationship damaging addiction.